THINGS IN MY LIFE I HAVE LEARNED
Over the past seventy years I have made plenty of mistakes. Here are some of the most memorable. In looking back, I think the biggest mistake I made, and kept on making was to not think a decision all the way through. If I had, I would have never married Jane. I did that to punish Nancy. Nor would I have married Betty. I did that, for the most part to please my mother. I had fun with Betty and we loved each other in our own way, but there was never any romance. My mistake Betty, not yours. The biggest mistake was ever selling Chandler Lane. It split the family, cost Sidney, me and the children untold pain. And, who knows, if we had stayed in Corpus, King Alonzo ?? We truly were the uncrowned king and queen of Corpus and I just didn’t think it through. Sorry Sid, but you know that.
I learned that if I didn’t drink I wouldn’t get drunk. I also learned that not drinking and getting sober were worlds apart. Oh, I smoked some weed over the years but I believe that I smoked more the last week of my drinking/using days than I did in the entire 27 years I’ve been sober. I feel that it wasn’t until 2006 that I really got sober. Really working the Sixth Step saved my ass and doing the same with the Seventh Step saved my soul. When I really worked the Twelfth Step, I discovered that my ass and my soul were irrevocably joined.
Time was one enemy I just couldn’t even break even with. I felt I was immortal or at least bullet-proof and invisible. Case in point, were all the changes in my life. It seemed that I could always do better, time was on my side. The real answer was best summed up by a verse from a Robert W. Service poem. “There’s a race of men that can’t stand still so the break the hearts of kith and kin and roam the world at will. If they went straight, they might go far, for they are the strong, the brave and true but always tire of things that are and search for the strange and new. They say, if I could my proper groove what a deep mark I would make. But they chop and change but each fresh start is just a fresh mistake”. There’s more, but you get the point. I do.
Over the years I’ve learned a lot about responsibility. I learned a lot of it from London. Captain, Nifka, and Speedo, my sweet and wonderful cats and dogs. One time in Denver I was in a deep funk and suicide seemed the only way out. I thought if I were going to meet my maker I might as well be naked, just the way I came into this world. I stripped, went to the balcony, looked down fifteen floors and had one leg over when Captain came out and had both paws on one leg and was meowing as loud as she could. The thing was she never made a sound before. She had always been as silent as a tomb I took it as her saying get off the rail you silly bastard, I don’t know how to open a can. That opened my eyes to a lot of things. One was I was responsible for their well being. They not only can’t open cans or doors to go out or even dial the phone to call the vet if one was sick. All they could really do was love me. And realizing that made me realize that the price of love was responsibility, I started being more responsible. Over the years it has become second nature.
Another thing is that I’ve found that the world judges me on my actions and I judge myself on my intentions. No wonder I had so many ruptured relationships, lost opportunities, broken marriages and on and on. I am learning to have my intentions and my actions to meld as one these days.
Lying is something else that plagued me over the years. An old saying states that a word spoken often enough becomes truth. At times I would have rather told you I was going to SavOn than I was really going to Rite Aid. No reason. Nothing gained, just a lie. It took years to discover just how far from the truth my life was.
I have been fairly successful in business over time. What I have learned is I make a living by what I get but I make a life by what I give. Working with the homeless addict/alcoholic in Denver and being a drug and alcohol counselor in Los Angeles has brought that fact home and done it in spades. To help those who truly can’t help themselves is an honor and a blessing.
These are some others I’m working on. I’ll fill them in some day soon.
Listening
Laughing
Friends are more important than money
Religion and spirituality are vastly different to some.
I want everything I’ve got.
Over the past seventy years I have made plenty of mistakes. Here are some of the most memorable. In looking back, I think the biggest mistake I made, and kept on making was to not think a decision all the way through. If I had, I would have never married Jane. I did that to punish Nancy. Nor would I have married Betty. I did that, for the most part to please my mother. I had fun with Betty and we loved each other in our own way, but there was never any romance. My mistake Betty, not yours. The biggest mistake was ever selling Chandler Lane. It split the family, cost Sidney, me and the children untold pain. And, who knows, if we had stayed in Corpus, King Alonzo ?? We truly were the uncrowned king and queen of Corpus and I just didn’t think it through. Sorry Sid, but you know that.
I learned that if I didn’t drink I wouldn’t get drunk. I also learned that not drinking and getting sober were worlds apart. Oh, I smoked some weed over the years but I believe that I smoked more the last week of my drinking/using days than I did in the entire 27 years I’ve been sober. I feel that it wasn’t until 2006 that I really got sober. Really working the Sixth Step saved my ass and doing the same with the Seventh Step saved my soul. When I really worked the Twelfth Step, I discovered that my ass and my soul were irrevocably joined.
Time was one enemy I just couldn’t even break even with. I felt I was immortal or at least bullet-proof and invisible. Case in point, were all the changes in my life. It seemed that I could always do better, time was on my side. The real answer was best summed up by a verse from a Robert W. Service poem. “There’s a race of men that can’t stand still so the break the hearts of kith and kin and roam the world at will. If they went straight, they might go far, for they are the strong, the brave and true but always tire of things that are and search for the strange and new. They say, if I could my proper groove what a deep mark I would make. But they chop and change but each fresh start is just a fresh mistake”. There’s more, but you get the point. I do.
Over the years I’ve learned a lot about responsibility. I learned a lot of it from London. Captain, Nifka, and Speedo, my sweet and wonderful cats and dogs. One time in Denver I was in a deep funk and suicide seemed the only way out. I thought if I were going to meet my maker I might as well be naked, just the way I came into this world. I stripped, went to the balcony, looked down fifteen floors and had one leg over when Captain came out and had both paws on one leg and was meowing as loud as she could. The thing was she never made a sound before. She had always been as silent as a tomb I took it as her saying get off the rail you silly bastard, I don’t know how to open a can. That opened my eyes to a lot of things. One was I was responsible for their well being. They not only can’t open cans or doors to go out or even dial the phone to call the vet if one was sick. All they could really do was love me. And realizing that made me realize that the price of love was responsibility, I started being more responsible. Over the years it has become second nature.
Another thing is that I’ve found that the world judges me on my actions and I judge myself on my intentions. No wonder I had so many ruptured relationships, lost opportunities, broken marriages and on and on. I am learning to have my intentions and my actions to meld as one these days.
Lying is something else that plagued me over the years. An old saying states that a word spoken often enough becomes truth. At times I would have rather told you I was going to SavOn than I was really going to Rite Aid. No reason. Nothing gained, just a lie. It took years to discover just how far from the truth my life was.
I have been fairly successful in business over time. What I have learned is I make a living by what I get but I make a life by what I give. Working with the homeless addict/alcoholic in Denver and being a drug and alcohol counselor in Los Angeles has brought that fact home and done it in spades. To help those who truly can’t help themselves is an honor and a blessing.
These are some others I’m working on. I’ll fill them in some day soon.
Listening
Laughing
Friends are more important than money
Religion and spirituality are vastly different to some.
I want everything I’ve got.
